I am just beside myself
I am just beside myself! That is what I heard this morning as I was vacuuming the house. I didn’t respond to the comment but I gave it some thought as I moved from room to room. The comment in and of itself, is rather interesting and I think very visual.
This statement, “I am just beside myself” is coming from a man who is typically very, very active. When he is not at his job working, he is home working in the garage, on a family member or friend’s car, working in the yard or just changing something around because it just might work better if it is this way! Now on crutches with a fractured heel, he is not able to keep himself busy with good hard manual labor. TV, internet cribbage, an occasional phone call and sitting around is how he is spending his time.
This statement also has meaning for me way, and I say way – back when I was a little girl. My grandma use to say it. I would have to think long and hard why, but I won’t for now. The point is that the saying has been around for a very long time.
When I first heard the comment this morning, I visualized him as a twin. It made me laugh out loud. Quite frankly to think there would be two of them in one house is rather terrifying. Especially now! But I will move off the visualization because I simply cannot quit laughing.
For this man, the statement “I am just beside myself” is probably a compilation of boredom, helplessness, uselessness, anger and fear. He is bored silly doing the same thing day after day with each day looking the same; no transition from Sunday to Monday. He is not entirely helpless, but he knows that there are things that he needs my help whether he wants to admit it or not. He is feeling useless as he watches little things like the yard deteriorate a bit from how nicely manicured he had it before his silly accident and I won’t do all the little tasks he had typically performed. (After all, I have my priorities too!) He is angry at how the system works in obtaining the short term disability funds. And of course fear; fear of failure – the all too familiar fear of past, present and future when the funds are not coming in fast enough for his liking.
Heck, I don’t have all the answers. But today it feels like why worry about the past, you can’t change it. Do today what you can do even if it means wasting time watching one movie right after another, after all – how often does a person really get to do that? Plus, healing requires downtime so take advantage when you can. And well tomorrow…will come. And it will go too, just like today.
Tomorrow is a new day with another full day; of healing or learning or strategizing or planning or rejuvenating or resting or whatever you did today, behind you. And what is behind you provides the impetus to have a more impactful tomorrow.
So for my man who is beside himself, well when he wakes up from his nap I hope he feels better. Perhaps I should print this off and lay it right next to his head to read, but he won’t read it. Actually it would frustrate him even more. Good thing I know that! LOL.
So I blog this because there are some really good lessons that come out of this statement “I am just beside myself”. I got a hugely good laugh and wanted to share. And throughout the rest of the day I will drop these little tidbits off for my man in bite size pieces.
Let go of yesterday, you can’t redo it.
Appreciate today; want to go to the meat raffle?
Look out tomorrow, you will be a stronger bull and can do more than you did today!
I am still laughing at the visual. And for those of you who know who I am talking about….please, can we keep this our little secret?
……………of course I say all this with much love and respect.